amygdala

Ethan Mershon

tw: suicidal ideation

the reptile in me isn’t good at math,

it cheated its way through algebra, chilled

in the high school air conditioning, desperate

for some sunlight.

whenever i see a knife, i want to stab something.

this is America- how much can you carry, young soldier?

whenever i see a rainbow i want to believe in something.

this is America- if you can’t pull yourself up by your bootstraps

go into debt buying new boots.

whenever i see my reflection i get confused,

i so often forget i can be seen in a mirror, that

i’m only a vampire in my head.

this is America- dividing your life in two,

becoming the sequel to yourself,

before and after the catastrophe.

or maybe that’s the whole damn world.

the reptile in me flicks its tongue

at the art museum, tasting the air

around the paintings, worried

i have known too many sorrows.

whenever i see a knife, i think about writing my note.

but whenever i drink coffee, i am participating

in centuries. whenever i tell somebody i love them

i am participating in the only solution.

wisdom isn’t given or earned or won in a lottery-

it’s an attitude. and when i am at peace

i want some sunlight- wisdom of the snake.

i want to lower my bucket into a well

and pull out water

instead of getting scared of what i may bring up

and cutting the rope.